|
Becci Peterson, a member of Aurora High School's Class of 1997 and a participant
in the Young Authors Forum, submitted this poem
to Elizabeth Strauss
for suggestions and response: A Special Man ... There is not one good word that I can use to describe my grandpa with. There have been times when you were the only one that could make the pain go away. You have always been there for me and I admire you for it. Memories are things that I will always remember of you. Smiling, laughing, crying, angry does not matter to you because you will always love me for who I am. I can hear you saying "I am proud of you Becci." Those words are some very powerful words. Whenever I ask you what I can do for you, you always answer with a "Nothing I got it" phrase. Red roses, birthday cards and hugs are just some of the things that I remember about you. Grandpa, I want to take the time right now to say thank you for everything you have done for me and that I think the world of you. Sometimes I feel you are the only one that understands or takes the time to listen. My teenage years would not be complete without my special Grandpa in them. Another thing that I admire about you is that you think of other people before you think of yourself, that is one reason that I love you so much. Loving, caring and cheerful are just a few words that I can think to describe you. Let me tell you right now that I am very proud of my grandpa too!! --Becci Peterson |
|||
|
Elizabeth Strauss's response: Becci, What sweet and lovely words you have for your grandfather. I have a similar poem that I have written for my father. I have shared it with you at the end of this message. Now, let's take a closer look at your poem. . . . I see within your words the seeds of many poems. . . . too many ideas for just one. . . . I would love to see you try to write these thoughts in a message to your grandfather, instead of one about him. Remember that poetry talks in images, leaving out the details, drawing the picture with broad strokes, letting the reader fill in the rest with his or her own feelings. When I write poetry I go to a place inside me, looking for the feelings and pictures that don't have words. I "sit" among them and wait, writing only phrases, trying to cull from the rocks of words just those nuggets that best describe how I feel. Sometimes, less is more. Let me show you what I mean. I have taken the liberty of "editing" the first part of your poem (I hope you don't mind) to show you. A Special ManLook for words like "chased" to help me *see* what you see. Words with images and feelings attached communicate so strongly. If you visualize your grandfather and three specific things he did for you that mean a lot to you, and then describe only those, you might get closer to the core of what he really is, what he really means to you. I envy you, Becci, such a warm and caring man in your life. I bet you could write a whole book of poetry about someone so special. When you finish this one poem, I would very much like to see it again. Here is the poem I wrote for my dad. I hope you like it. Liz |
|
My Father's Hands My father's hands were rough and strong a kind container for my heart. They held me up to hang the moon and led my footsteps in the dark. My father's eyes saw only me and helped me be just what he saw. In his eyes I found myself a perfect child alive and whole. My father's heart was sanctuary from reasons, rules, and alibis. And when the world kept drawing lines I'd find his heart there in his eyes. My father knew that friends are few who have the power to understand the freedom and the love I knew when I could hold my father's hand. E. Strauss (5/9/94) |
|||
|
